Baby Brianna

Posted: September 3, 2009 in faith, pain
Tags: , , , , ,

Dear Jesus,
today I watched a short video about a baby who was murdered by her mother, father and uncle. Her name was Brianna. This video made me cry because all i could see was my 9 month old daughter in that little baby. Apart from the firey anger that grew in my stomach towards the family of this child, I felt a deep sadness for this baby because I know she never knew what it was like to be loved before she died. She probably never felt the security of her parents embrace, never felt the joy of uncontrolled laughter when a parent plays with or tickles her, and probably never felt the bond between parent and child that is critical to help a baby grow. Even a child that young has the capacity to know love, joy and laughter. This child probably only knew sadness, fear and pain. Dear Jesus, what happens to her now that she is in your hands? who welcomes her into paradise? Do you welcome her and embrace her, allowing her to feel the warmth, and joy of love? I always desired in my heart of hearts that when we die we are welcomed into paradise by our families and friends past and future, since paradise exists apart from time. Yes I know these are all feel good thoughts that we honestly can know if it is real, but it would sure be nice wouldnt it? I know that God loves his children above all, and that sustains me. I dont need to know the details of the afterlife or the beginning of it all to know what I know, but it sure is nice to imagine what it could be like. Dear Jesus, if indeed we are greeted warmly by our friends and family into paradise, if I am so lucky to get there, I’d really like to give baby brianna a hug and play with her and hear her little laugh. Until then, please take care of her and give her all the love that she should have gotten here. And more. I know you will because you have a soft heart for children like her, so I know that finally she is in good hands. The best of hands. And I thank you for that.
Thanks Jesus, I know that despite all the bullshit that happens here, you are in control, and nothing escapes your eye. I hope to see you someday (but not too soon! 😀 ) and I hope you consider me a friend at that time. Looking forward to that day.

P.S. Tell my grandma that I miss her. She would have loved to meet my daughter. Somehow though, i think she already has.


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